Of Cliffs and Extremely Long Names
by juviass
Summary: "If we make it out of this alive, I will swear my undying love for you." Citrusy goodness and some big, heavy, lemons await.


**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Fairy Tail.**

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><p>They'd finally trapped their target on a narrow edge of a cliff, with their target standing at the top and them halfway up the bottom of the hill.<p>

"We've got you now, Orange-Head!" Natsu shouted, running at top speed up the hill, which was really all that fact, since not only was the hill extremely steep, but rocks and gravel kept getting kicked loose from their path.

"My name is not Orange-Head!" the orange haired man shouted indignantly. "I am called Benjamin Kerrington Michael Fitzpatrick-Micah the Fifth!"

"Whatever, Orange-Head. Stop using long words!" The Fire Mage yelled. He stumbled on a rock, causing him to skid a few metres down the hill.

"Damnit... Natsu..." Lucy wheezed as she dodged a rock that came tumbling towards her. "Why... the hell didn't you bring Happy with us... this time?"

"Happy's on a date with Charle!" Natsu said. "Why don't you just summon your weird clock spirit and stop complaining?"

"I can't summon Horologium today!" Lucy whined. "It's his day off!"

"Will you two stop dilly-dallying?" their target huffed impatiently. "I, Benjamin Karrington Mich—"

"Shut up!" Lucy and Natsu both screamed, as they tried, and failed, to make further progress up the hill. "We don't need to hear your stupidly long name again!"

Benjamin Karrington Micheal Fitzpatrick-Micah stomped his foot angrily, his pride insulted. "How _dare_ you insult the mighty Benjamin Karrington Micheal Fitzpatrick-Micah! Prepare to meet your doom!" He clapped his hands together and shouted, "Hail of Citrus!"

Suddenly, tiny oranges and limes pelted Lucy and Natsu from the sky.

"Ow!" the Stellar Spirit Mage shrieked, as she crouched down and covered her head with her hands. The land wasn't strong enough to support her her in that position, and she slipped, but quickly regained her footing. She ground her teeth together and made the agonizing climb back up to her previous position, where Natsu still stood scorching any citrus fruit that flew near him.

Natsu hissed as an orange he scorched exploded and its juice got into his eyes. "Ow, ow, ow! That fucking burns!"

"Ohohoho!" their target bellowed. "Enjoying the rain? Well, here's something even better!" He raised his arms to the sky, and called out to it. "Final Drops!"

Two huge, towering lemons dropped from the sky and started rolling down the hill, straight towards where Lucy and Natsu were standing.

"I'll stop one, you stop the other!" Natsu ordered, as he leaped forward to try and stop the path of the giant lemon. Lucy nodded and scrambled after him.

"NGGGGGGRAAAAAAH!" Natsu shouted as he skidded down the rocky hill, trying to stop the lemon as its full weight pressed onto him. He finally came to a halt after skidding three metres from his original spot. "Lucy, are you alright?" he asked.

"I've... stopped mine..." she panted from her spot two metres away.

"What? How?" their target muttered as he stared incredulously at the two mages. "No one should be able to stop the Giant Lemons!"

"That's the power of Fairy Tail" Natsu grinned, as he raised a fist, but quickly regretted his action as he skidded a few centimetres lower.

"But Natsu, we're screwed," Lucy pointed out. "If we move, we'll get crushed, and Orange-Head over there (Hey!) will get away."

"Oh," he said, finally realizing their position. "Oh yeah. Damn."

Lucy sighed, and, with difficulty, pulled out a key from her belt. "Open the Gate of the Maiden! Virgo!"

"Punishment, Princess?"

"No! I want you to go to Fairy Tail and tell them Natsu and I need help with some... er... lemons. Come back as fast as you can, okay?"

"Right away, Princess." She dived into the ground.

"So, uh, Lucy?" Natsu started after Virgo left.

"Yeah?"

"If we make it out of this alive, I will swear my undying love to you."

Lucy laughed. "What, are you suddenly becoming Orange-Head now that he's shut up?"

Natsu grinned, completely ignoring their target's indignant shouts. "No, I've just always wanted to try saying that. It sounded cool, y'know."

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><p>"Virgo? What are you doing here? What's wrong with Lucy?" Gray asked the moment he saw the Spirit emerge from a hole in the ground.<p>

"Princess and Master Natsu are currently in a crisis involving some extremely big lemons," she said. "She requests some backup immediately. That is all." She then dived back into the hole, digging her way back to Lucy.

Meanwhile, Gray simply stood rooted on the spot, staring at the hole in the ground.

"...What?"

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><p><strong>Two one-shots in one day. Phew, I am on a roll! For Fairy Tail fics, anyways.<br>**

**I don't even know why I'm writing this. I was just trying to plan a plot for my other stories, and then suddenly, _poof_, inspiration for another misleading fanfiction. And the best part? This shouldn't even be M Rated.  
><strong>

**You can bash me later.**

**Thanks for reading!**


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